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Apr 22

Journal of Bristol Blackburn, All the world loves a clown, except me that is.

Journal of Bristol Blackburn,

 

If someone were to ask me if I’ve ever been afraid of ghosts, I would tell them no. It’d be the truth.  The reality is I feel more comfortable around the spirits that float in and out of my life than I do anyone with an actual pulse. After all, the dead can’t hurt me. They just don’t scare me. And I’ve seen some that would be pretty scary to some.

Sometimes, when someone is appears, they appear as they see themselves in life.  So someone who died at the ripe old age of 90 may appear in their 20’s.  Other times, they may appear as they see themselves in death.  Those can be a little gross. Like the guy who got eaten by a shark, or the girl who got thrown through a windshield when she was hit by a drunk driver. Just last week, I had some idiot show up who stuck his head into an elevator head that was open for some reason. He had his head tucked under his arm like a football! But those are just disgusting, not scary.

The only time I could say I was scared is when I woke up the other night to find a clown in my room.

It wasn’t the fact that he was a ghost. It was the fact that he was a clown. I hate clowns! They’re creepy! The fake painted smiles, the huge feet, the honking horns! I’m always afraid they’re going to try and get me into a really tiny car with them and their 57 friends.

It didn’t help that this clown was not only appearing in my room in the middle of the night, in his full clown get up, but he also was covered in blood.

It would seem that Mr. Giggles was having an affair with the lady whose job it was to be tied to a giant target sign and get spun while some guy threw knives at her. Problem for Mr. Giggles was that Lady Luck was married to the guy who threw the knives at her.

I mean, who is that stupid? The guy throws knives for a living!

Well, Mr. Giggles had quite a lot to talk about. He wanted to vent about everyone under the big top. How the other clowns picked on him because his feet weren’t as big as theirs even though they were huge, the MC was a mamma’s boy and his mamma was the bearded lady, and the horse trainer was always trying to borrow money because he lost a bundle betting on the ponies.

But in the end, he got around to talking about how he had really loved Target Lady. The Knife Thrower didn’t love her, not the way he did. He’d been cheating on her for years with one of the trapeze artists.

In the end, The Knife Thrower was in jail for killing Mr. Giggles and Lady Target left the circus to raise her son. She was pregnant at the time of the murder. When I asked who the father was, he laughed.

“I didn’t even know she was pregnant,” He said. “Neither did he, so I never got the chance to ask her. I’m not sure if she would have been able to tell us. But I’ll tell you this: I got to see the little guy in the hospital after he was born. He looks like her. He had his mother’s eyes and nose. Cute as a button too, just like her. But those feet? Those were my feet!”

He laughed. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

When I opened them a moment later, he was gone.

Man, I hate clowns.

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